Ive been having some of the weirdest dreams lately..The other night i had a really lifelike one... Only memorable because it contains a concept that, after and during the dream seems like something that I've been aware of for a long time, but in retrospect/research is something that doesn't exist.

Something like.. altar wives, or... something. ("A-something") I can't remember what I was calling them. They are very old ladies who have no one at all. They live in old houses and, on the the day that they are going to die, someone inevitably (or responsibly) joins them and keeps them company until they die. I found myself with one of them at her house. The house was adjacent to a bus stop and I was there under the premise that I would wait with her until the bus arrived, or she died. Whatever came first.

We sat inside and I read her stories while she rocked on a chair. She was so old that her eyes barely opened and she wore a headscarf like a good, cliché old woman.
Eventually we grew tired of reading and went outside to sit on the bench in front of her house, adjacent to the bus stop. We sat as the sun went down and I continued making small talk. Until I looked over and saw her head bend forward, and she died.

When the bus arrived, I closed her eyes and boarded. Her head shot up and her eyes were a burning vivid blue. She got up from the bench with energy she should not have possessed and chased me up to the bus. I got on and said I was sorry but I couldn't wait but she continued to yell nonsense at me and chase me around the bus. All I remember after that is she escalated to become crazier and crazier.

Once upon a time, there lived a young boy who believed in unicorns, fairy tales, equal rights, and the American Dream. Some would call him a dreamer, but most would say he’s an absolute idiot. Sometimes I imagine a dream sequence from the sitcoms of my childhood, where I would have an opportunity to talk to “little Dale” and set this little guy straight. I’ve always been pretty idealistic and optimistic for the most part, so it would be a challenge to explain to this little one, staring up at me with wide eyes in anticipation, what the future holds. I do not want to crush little Dales’s hopes and dreams or rid him of his innocence.

I wasnt raised to believe that ALL people are created equal and we should all be treated the exact same way. I wasnt taught that you should tolerate diversity, nor celebrate it. I havent always believed that our differences are what should bring us all together, not tear us apart .

We are all so unique and have something so special to share with others and it would be such a beautiful world if we were all given the opportunity to truly be ourselves. Sorry…off on a tangent. there are many things I am passionate about and yes, I still love unicorns, but that is beside the point.

Something I feel strongly about is gay rights! There are basic human rights that all Americans should have, yet these are rights that are denied to homosexuals and that is ridiculous! I believe in freedom of speech and religion and have no problem with those who have strong opinions. Those I do have a problem with are people who believe their religion is the only right religion and those who manipulate the Bible (or other religious texts) to try and validate their hatred and bigotry. I don’t understand how someone can preach tolerance one second and then condemn all homosexuals to hell. It all doesn’t make sense to me.

I’m a strong believer in love and to find one person in this crazy world who loves you for being you is an amazing gift. One day I hope to find a man who loves me with all of his heart (I will always be a hopeless romantic). Marriage is a right, not a privilege given only to a man and a woman. I am hopeful for the day where a man and a man or a woman and a woman may get married and have it recognized in all states of the United States of America. I believe sometime soon (PLEASE VERY SOON) same sex marriages will be LEGAL and stay that way.

Amos Lee - Windows are rolled down

Overthinking, dreams and Mariah Carey.

thoughts and flow- As i sit here with my headphones on ..the room is dark except for the streetlight and the glowing light of the screen of my pc.. Im trying to focus my thoughts and level my head. its been a whirl of many different flashes today!

im so unsure of everything today. I try to reel myself back from negative thoughts, and prayer has helped me with that ALOT. but i am a overthinker, which leads to negative thinking.

That song, "Marry Me," by Train is so sweet. And, so, so how I feel when I think about someone. It is extremely difficult to read emails from them about the new love interest and how much it seems to me that that particular love interest could or could not care less. I'm sure this new love interest does care. Probably more than I would ever imagine. I mean, how could they not, right..?

Life - Sometimes it feels like I'm grasping and trying to climb out of this hole and all that happens is more and more dirt piles all around me. I think I find a lead and it doesn't come through. I think I find a job, and there are strings attached. I just want to reach my goals. But, like so many others, my searches are going nowhere. I know that I'm not alone in this, and I'm trying to keep the complaining to a minimum. It's just been a rough last six months and I'm trying to keep myself from breaking emotionally. This is proving to be a very difficult task.


Rant- There are so many people, especially on the net... who can not engage in a conversation without getting upset. I understand that there are certain topics, especially those involving beliefs regarding big issues, that are more difficult to talk about. However, you have to be able to be rational and calm when discussing things with people or you are never going to make it in this world.

I'm worried about the future of this world.


Dreams -My dreams the last two nights have been really weird. Night before last, I was moving into a new house that was next to some pretty rowdy neighbors. Instead of wanting to stay there, I wanted to check out other homes. (As if finding a new place to live is just that easy.) So, I run to the edge of the mountain that I was on and long jump... Right into the air. Down I go as the wind flaps my face. And, then... I fly. I soar up and down in the wind. Any direction that I wish to go. I can see everything from up there and I'm thoroughly enjoying my adventure. Then, I remembered while dreaming that I have had dreams before where I was flying just like I was in this dream, but I did not remember that I was dreaming this, just that I had remembered dreams like this in the past

I flew around for quite awhile, then something woke me up. After I went back to sleep, I had a dream where I was sitting next to Mariah Carey and I told her that her hair looked nice...( I know your laughin..go on) ... It was curly and a different color than she usually has. It was more of a Strawberry Blonde. Well, I turn and talk to someone and when I look back she had put her hair up. "Why did you do that?" I asked her. She looked down at the floor and said, "I thought you were kidding and meant that my hair looked bad." Why I had this dream, I have no idea. I really thought her hair looked nice. Maybe I'm not so sincere in my dreams.. who knows...dreams are sort of reality right?

The World- In the last month or so.. we as a world at whole have been thrown about in a sea of natural & religious disasters. Japan has been shaken to its core. Earthquakes, tsunamis, radiation leaks, flooding, hunger, death. The talks of war are spoken every 15 seconds on the television, and wherever you turn no matter where you are, you hear the term end of days.

Its a scary thought, yes. Ive been having some pretty intense conversations with a good friend of mine about this subject. We are confused, yet trying to make some sort of sense of things that are happening around us. Its not easy. Usually we end up stressing outselves out, or talking about it so much, we end up dreaming about it. I wish I had all the answers as many of your probably do. But we dont. I cant say for sure that i believe we are in "end times". do i hope we are. yes. It sure feels as though we might be, but im sure in centuries past it probably did as well. Only time will tell.

Art/Creativity- In the last few weeks or so...Ive been doodling, just kinda childish drawings, maybe im regressing back to childhood lately, who knows. I just feel so free when im creating something. Its an outlet ive very rarely tapped into. all of a sudden im like a flowing spring of colors and ideas. The gift of letting one be themselves is a precious offering, and it doesnt go unnoticed. :)



Life- Im so glad spring is upon us, the sunshine sure does feel good shining down on me. I thank you god for the warmth and beaming rays of this magical burning ball of light :) To touch on my last paragraph a little, ive been seeing everything lately thru the eyes of myself as a child. I know it may sound stupid or like im trying to make the world seem better than it is. I guess earlier in my life i never really questioned much around me... i thougt everything was perfect. but lately ive been questioning how everything, and i mean everything has come to be, or is made or grown. what it does. or what effect i have on it, or it on me. My brain definately seems to be on fire lately I constantly have random thoughts and ideas just floating around in their like fireflies in a mason jar, aiming for the top, to escape into the warm summer air....Mind you, more i speak of then i probably should. :)

I truly am so blessed in my everyday life. with jesus christ walking by by side. I feel no matter come hell or hight water. Im free. I have a home in heaven. thats why in the "end" be it next week or in 3 years. I know where i stand.