Food Shopping - after hours!

Late night grocery shopping could be one of my favorite things to do.

I love the peacefulness of a gigantic store after a certain hour, when everyone is home, no babies crying, no pushing or cutting in line, no lady with 50 different coupons taking an exorbitant about of time, as you wait impatiently behind her, shooting rays of death in her general direction, hoping she feels the heat as they shoot past her. No cashier giving you attitude cause shes had no break in the last three hours.

All that surrounds you as you walk down the empty aisles, as wide as Montana farmlands. are shelf-stockers and in the next aisle is the hum of some form of floor cleaner. You feel almost like running with the cart as fast as you can, cause who would stop you!

I remember as a kid going shopping with my mom, we'd always be on a budget and she'd give me certain items off the list to go find, and bring to the cart. Usually it was the cereal..( which she would let me , almost always get my favorite) I would try to ride on the end of the cart.

I try to make lists when i go shopping, they dont always tend to work though...cause i shop by sight alot. Tonite i didnt go by my list at all really....I got romaine lettuce, 2 large tomatoes, Potato bread, Avacados, 2 bags of almonds, Organic Cashew Butter, Sliced Ham, a bottle of Pinot Noir, and some Coke. I love taking my time and just looking over everything. I love the hiss of the water sprinklers over the fresh produce too ;)

Waiting in snow

Waiting-I find myself waiting. Waiting for updates, waiting to find out if I made it, waiting for my phone to charge, waiting for the mail, waiting to hear from jobs I’ve applied to, , waiting for updates to download, waiting for the next slip on the ice, waiting for a boyfriend, waiting to hear if I’m needed, waiting to see that show or that movie, waiting for food to be done, waiting to walk normal again, waiting for the love of my life, waiting to hear back from people, waiting for programs to load, waiting for pages to print, waiting for the good song on the radio, , waiting for an adventure, waiting for life to start.

Most recently I find myself waiting for this to turn out like everything else, like everyone else. I’m waiting for the day that it feels the same, for the day that comes when I will no longer feel better because of it and when I find that a certain presence doesn’t change my mood for the better, even though it hasn’t fixed anything. I’m waiting for when it has no more positive affect on me, or slowing down my head and making (almost) everything feel simpler and easier. I’m waiting for the day it turns out different - the way they all do. Maybe if that day would just come a little sooner, then I could get on with this aspect of my life again, without feeling like an opportunity was missed, when it’s not my opportunity, at least not right now. I’ve missed so many already, but I am extremely happy with the ones I’ve seized, at least of late. Those are the few moments where I’ve been either in the moment, or thinking ahead. I spend a lot of time thinking ahead, and need to spend much, much more time in the here and now. If I could only find a way to let go - to actually relax.

Snow- has always felt magical to me that way, slowly falling to the earth, so calm and peaceful. It’s my favorite part of this time of year… when the snow is slowly, fluffily falling, and it’s silent out, especially at night. When you open that back door to throw something in the garbage can, and it’s so incredibly peaceful and quiet. It seems to be the one thought that actually can silence all the others. When I picture it, when I picture me in it, I stand there in the classic pose, coat, hat, gloves.. face towards the sky, hands out watching it fall, and listening, waiting for each flake to make a noise and it never does.

There is something so incredibly slow and calming about it. As I sit here now I tell myself that maybe I should use that as a devise for stressful situations, to just take a moment and picture that scene - when the snow is falling and there is no one else around and it’s quiet and slow… but then I tell myself maybe not, as this time of year I would probably use it too much and not give it’s full value and then it’d become like an annoying pop song - played so many times it just stresses you out next time you hear it again. I don’t want to do that, I don’t want it to turn into that.

Why not just take a moment and actually be in the moment, and make a memory that lasts more than a split second glimpse. Somehow I’ve become nearly incapable of remembering things as a whole, it all just comes in little pieces, glimpses here and there, filled with so many important things to remember. It’s amazingly hard to rewrite 30somethins habits, especially when it’s the only habits you’ve known or had since you started being able to hold long-term memories.I’m not a fan of in the middle and that’s a bunch of where I feel I am right now, and most of it is of my own doing, knowingly or not.

Now I’m just rambling.

Snow.

Deep breaths.

All the time in the world.

It will all be okay.

Enough with the heavy.

Tunes- Albums & Songs i'm Currently Obsessed with & think you need to check out

James Durbin- Screaming. One of the best albums of the year so far ( even if it is only February)

Egypt Central- White Rabbit ( love this song)

Sleigh Bells- Reign of Teror

Shooter Jennings- The Deed & the dollar

Black Heart

The snow has turned to the color of ash
nothing is moving in my presence
the wind is barely blowing
hauntingly touching my face
I can feel my heart beating in the quiet

I can see my breath in the coldness
my hands are frozen and frostbit
the sun has left us
leaving this world in darkness

Pitch black all around me
When i see color again..
will it be like a dream..
not sure id even recognize another human voice
if i happen upon another living soul.

Death, destruction and deceit are all ive seen.. all i know

Newfie girl

There is this woman i know
she is very soft spoken
she speaks just above a whisper
almost like shes just been woken

Newfie born- newfie raised
this woman is a star shining
her snowkissed cheeks
and dark eye lashes
surely leave all the Canadian boys pining

Her heart is as big as the Universe
but dont ask her to boast
shes quite content just being herself
as she watches ducks along the coast.

Her smile can light up the darkest of nights
and her hands are full of magic
she will rarely fuss or argue any.
but crossing her is nothing short of tragic.

her Kitten is rambunctious & quite shy
she nibbles on her owners toes..
and hisses when she walks by
a lifesaver she has been
god saw fit to send her down
just as this woman walked in.

She loves to watch the midnight sky
this woman that i know
Each star is precious
and she will point that out
for she believes in god
and heaven is her route.

no matter what we chat about
she's always got an ear open
weather its about my latest crush
or..
the world falling on our heads :)

The greatest of friends shes been to me
this woman that i know
I pray we will be friends for life
as we continue to grow.

My Spaceship

My spaceship would have no nense of time.
it would be colorful & shine.
there would be lots of music & fun
afterall Life is a gun.

My spaceship would go everywhere
just push one button and think of a place
and we'd me off
im talking, anywhere your imagination can think of.

Maybe you want to braid a lions mane
or..sit on the sun for tea
or..possibly youd like to play piano @ the bottom of the sea.
My spaceship can go there.

my spaceship is a safe place
its my go to place
no matter how im feelin
it brings a smile to my face

my spaceship can transform into anything
at a moments notice
a skyscraper, jack in the box, or a giant set of mittens.
its quite unique that way.

My spaceship is very modern
it has all the new techy bells & whistles
it can blast me to the future
or send me back to the past.

My spaceship has no mirrors
cause there
reflections dont appear
so
if your quite conceited im afraid your not welcome here

My spaceship is so fast, its only a blur to the human eye.