Lately I have been feeling like I may never get over this.I think a lot of it is because a huge part of me doesn't want to.Some days I feel a little better about it; I fantasize about my future. I think about living the life i want.. being in other relationships, getting married.But most days, it just consumes me.
I wonder if this was my chance at love. I wonder if I will ever find someone so amazing ever again. It scares me to think I may end up alone forever while I watch all my other friends flourish in their relationships.I don't regret falling in love. Because you can't have regrets, and for a while there I was happy. Yet, sometimes I wonder if I would be better off if none of it had happened
.I feel so stupid letting it control me the way it does. I guess its just that when you care about one person so much, so much that when you look at them your heart skips a beat, so much that you just like being in the same room as them because with them you feel safe, so much that everything is different and not as beautiful without them, so much that you physically hurt without them, that its impossible to let go.Its nights like this that I wish we could just talk like we used to.
I've been trying to focus on other things to get through it, but its no use. I just can't fully get into anything. Because without love what's the point really?
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