Life & Times of a Literary Zeus

This pic is my childhood home....where i lived till I was fourteen <3



He has returned,  I am back blogging after a short hiatus.

I sometimes feel as if I dont even know the man I've become, the man i see in the mirror every morning.  I woke up today, and just stared back at the reflection i saw, who is this aging man?  when did he become this man, i saw looking back at me.?  Slowly I've come to admit i am so much like my father, that it isnt even funny.  I find myself talking like him, lots of his mannerisms etc..

I guess it hit me pretty hard this week, when Andy Griffith passed away, "The Andy Griffith show" was my dads favorite show. He would always whistle the theme tune while out working in the yard or working on mowers or something in his garage.  My dad loved bluegrass music as well and i recently found an old Andy Griffith gospel bluegrass record in some of his stuff.  I guess when i lost my dad when i was 14, that show took on a part of parenting on his behalf...Yes, my dad taught me alot in fourteen years, I am just saying i think the show was an extention of him, a part that i could keep alive, but now i feel loss all over again.

I've lost alot of things, people, years of my life worrying, but one thing im fighting for lately is my faith. I'm trying not to lose my focus on Jesus Christ.  It's not easy, at all.  But Should it be?  Is anything worth havin, worth fighting for?  I just do not understand how me being Gay, makes me less of a christian than the hypocrites who look down on me.  I try not to let it weigh me down.  I am a good-hearted person.   I think Christ is putting more and more non-believers in front of me, to show me a different path, than the one i was lost on.  I believe with all my heart he has a plan for me, ( whoa i just went all Simon Birch on ya'll ).  I wont lie ive been questioning my faith, more now than ever in my lifetime.  But I remain.

*begin rant* I was on facebook the other day, and saw a good friend of mine posting this and that. She is a public complainer, lets just get that out there in the open.  I love her dearly but boy is she a public complainer!  It just makes me so sad to see someone who speaks so highly of her church and her beliefs...but in the next post, she hates her dating situation, her job, her need for a vacation, her inability to carry on just one minute more, without just dying of pure exzaustion.   Dont get me wrong people.  I am all for venting, lord know ive done lots in my time.  But this is such an ongoing thing, that it just aggrivates me.  I dont know her daily life, and i do not know most of her situations...But I know her life is NOT that bad, seriously.  *End pointless rant*   I just needed to get that out ya'll.

I think i need to say an extra prayer for me just now gossip'n a bit. :)

Songs I'm currently obsessed with;

Chairlift - I Belong In Your Arms
Frank Ocean- Pyramids
Jens Lekman - Your Beat Kicks Back Like Death
Shiny Toy Guns-  Waiting alone